it's a commercial baby!
Our baby is now ad-supported.
Five ad spots on one Cybex Priam. Highest bid holds a spot until someone pays more. Nothing is ever refunded. Weekly photo drops on X.
Dashed pin = far side of the cart. Tap a pin to bid. All bids are final — outbid money stays in the college fund. The baby is not for sale.
The inventory
The Marquee
front / top
$25
starting price
Front-facing. The first thing oncoming pedestrians see, and it's in every stroller photo ever taken. Premium inventory.
Bids are final — no refunds when you're outbid. That's the game.
Portside Panel
left side of the cart
$15
current bid
Faces café terraces and sidewalk traffic. Oslo drinks a lot of coffee outdoors. They will see you.
Bids are final — no refunds when you're outbid. That's the game.
Starboard Panel
right side of the cart
$15
starting price
Faces the road. Bus lanes, cyclists, and captive audiences at red lights. Out-of-home media at knee height.
Bids are final — no refunds when you're outbid. That's the game.
The Left Grip
handlebar, left
$10
starting price
Inches from the operator's hands and eye-level for everyone who stops to coo at the baby. Intimate placement.
Bids are final — no refunds when you're outbid. That's the game.
The Right Grip
handlebar, right
$10
starting price
Same as the Left Grip, but on the right. For brands that lean right.
Bids are final — no refunds when you're outbid. That's the game.
🚨 Full Stroller Takeover
the entire stroller
$100
starting price
All five spots, the wheels, the vibe. Costs 25% more than everything underneath it combined, and lapses if the spot sponsors collectively buy the stroller back.
Live floor: $100 — always 25% above the five spots combined. Lapses if the spot sponsors collectively out-fund you.
Bids are final — no refunds when you're outbid. That's the game.
The drama, live
- Antler claimed Portside Panel for $15Sep 4
How it works
- 1
Pay whatever you want
Whole US dollars, $1 to $999,999. Stripe Checkout, instant.
- 2
Highest total holds the spot
Bids from the same brand stack. Your war chest is forever.
- 3
Nothing is refunded. Ever.
Outbid? Your money already walked around Oslo. That's the game.
- 4
The board is live, the stroller syncs weekly
Whoever leads each spot on Sticker Sunday gets printed, applied to the actual Cybex Priam, and photographed.
- 5
Proof of impressions
~10,000 Oslo steps most days, weekly photo drops on X.
Full print: the rules
Questions from concerned adults
Is this real?
Extremely. Real stroller, real baby, real Stripe account, real stickers, real Oslo weather.
What does the baby think?
The baby is pre-verbal and therefore pre-opinion. The college fund, however, is very supportive.
Do I get analytics?
You get a baby being walked past your customers most days and a weekly photo. That IS the analytics.
What if I get outbid?
You'll get an email within seconds, and your previous payments still count toward your total. Retaking your spot costs only the difference plus the increment. Physical stickers change at the weekly swap, so win it back before Sunday and yours never even comes off.
Can I put anything on the stroller?
No. Family-friendly veto, zero discussion. See the rules.
Why would I do this?
Cheapest out-of-home media in Scandinavia, and the only one with nap schedules.